Pretty in Pink

"I don't understand how a woman can leave the house without fixing herself up a little - if only out of politeness. And then, you never know, maybe that's the day she has a date with destiny. And it's best to be as pretty as possible for destiny." ~ Coco Chanel

Just out of curiosity, could someone please leave a comment below and let me know the date ... the exact date ... that it became socially acceptable to wear pajama bottoms in public.  As in, wearing your pj's to the grocery store, the mall, to breakfast with your girlfriends, to the movies, etc.  When?  How?  Why?  Have women in America become so incredibly lazy that rolling out of bed and changing into actual clothing has become just "too much" for us?  Or is this just an example of me beginning to show my age?

I know Congress has more important ways to spend their time ... but I really think a law should be passed making it illegal for women to step out into public wearing their pajamas and for men to quit wearing pants that hang below their waist exposing their underwear. 

I have always lived by the motto that you "dress for the job you want, not for the job you have."  This motto has granted me many favors ... not only in the employment arena.  I never had the opportunity to finish earning my college degree.  Something I regret and am thinking of soon correcting.  However, over the course of my career outside of the home I have landed a number of jobs that were advertised for people who completed a much higher level of education.  Now, don't get me wrong ... my mother didn't raise a dummy.  I'm a pretty smart cookie ... and I have never let the absence of a college diploma deter me from applying for a job that "required" one. 

I know what my strengths are and I know what I am capable of.  Having that kind of confidence is a must when one is reaching for the stars.  Knowing how to present oneself to the outside world is also imperative.  And you cannot ... I repeat ... cannot ... make a good impression while dressed as a lazy slob. 

For those of you who are of the pajama-in-public wearing type ... I refuse to apologize for calling you out on the fact that you are lazy.  You are.  There can be no other explanation.  I do not care if you are rich or poor, age 20 or age 60, a size "SB" or a size "W," there is absolutely no excuse for stepping out of your house, if only to run errands, looking less than fabulous.  It takes time, planning and effort.  And is arguably the best way to cheer oneself up when feeling blue. 

I have always been honest with you about who I am.  I don't mean to mislead you into believing I am the Rachel Zoe of Podunk, PA.  I am not.  Although I do say "bananas" a lot (just Google Rachel Zoe if you are having a hard time interpreting).  All I'm trying to get across to you is that looking one's best can often lead to feeling one's best.  And how can you feel at the top of your game when you are dressed as a character from Oliver Twist? 

Every woman I know has a different perspective on what makes them feel "pretty."  For me, it includes always having painted toenails (even in the wintertime when the only one admiring the color is myself, my husband and my fashion-forward puppy Gigi), monthly massage appointments, seasonal facial appointments, good moisturizing cream, perfume (Chanel No. 5 for special occasions and anything by Elizabeth Arden or Estee Lauder for everyday ... I stay away from "celebrity" perfumes ... I don't really care to smell like Beyonce, JLo or Katy Perry thank you very much ... although I did break down once and buy a bottle by my idol SJP ... I didn't care for it), fragrant body wash, a touch of blush, a lip tint (not too dark/not too light), good accessories and a pop of color added to any outfit ... preferably PINK. 

As Julia Robert's once said in Steel Magnolias (and please read the following quote in a very thick southern accent), "Pink is my signature color."  I love pink.  For me, there is no better cure for a self-induced pity party than throwing on something pink ... a scarf, handbag, a comfy pair of Converse, pin, etc.  It just makes me feel pretty. 

Once you become a wife and/or a mother, attention tends to start to shift away from you as a person and gradually you find that you tend to take the back seat to the other people in your life.  Women are, by nature, caretakers.  The question is ... once you have grown up and have moved out of your mother's house ... who is responsible for being the caretaker of you?  I admit to having neglected a thousand tiny details in regard to myself for ... oh ... about 17 years now (which is of course is how long ago I became legally bound to my beloved husband).  My wants and needs really took a nosedive after the birth of our first child and even further down on the priority list after the second.  Hence, one of the main reasons this blog's title has the word "fat" in it. 

Around the time I hit 30, I started taking an interest in myself again.  My children were both in elementary school, I had moved to a new town where I had zero friends and I was introduced to a brand-new form of peer pressure ... the "yummy mummies."  You know the ones I'm talking about ... the ones who have more than one child and enough time and energy to run the PTA, coach soccer, manage field trips, church bake sales, VBS, etc., good manners, better than average figures, great hair, impossibly well-manicured hands, and wouldn't be caught dead in a track suit outside of the gym.  Yep, one glance at the "yummy mummies" and I realized that it was time to up my game. 

I'm not talking about trying to "keep up with the Joneses" per se.  These women weren't particularly wealthy ... but they had a certain joie de vive that I longed for.  They were funny, confident, welcoming and sincere.  And so well put together.  And they were kind enough to ask me to join their little clique .. where I comfortably remain today ... although we now go by the name "the peeps" as they are unaware that I nicknamed them the "yummy mummies" back when we were unacquainted. 

I have always had a flair for fashion (or so I like to think).  I am far from being a supermodel but I know how to work what my mommy and daddy gave me regardless of what size I happen to be sporting. But when you have children in your early 20's and every other early 20-something year old woman you know is out cruising bars looking for men ... you find yourself in fashion purgatory.  You are married ... a mother ... and don't want to be mistaken for a college co-ed trolling for the next "Mr. Right Now" by sporting the "come hither" looks made for ladies in your age group.  However, on the other end of the spectrum, you wouldn't be caught dead in an applique sweater that depicts snowmen, fruit, vegetables, animals, etc.  On the one hand, you're too old to be sporting a Gothic or "emo" look if you will and too young for "mom" jeans, Hanes T-shirts and Reebok "aerobic" shoes. 

Finding your own personal style is essential ... and it takes years of experimenting with several wrong looks before you stumble across the right one.  I have always taken a cue from my mentors and my peers.  For instance, when I started my career at the age of 20, I started imitating the look of the firm manager.  She was approximately ten years old than I was and never ... and I mean never ... wore pants to work.  Skirts, dresses, suits.  And heels ... never flats.  So I did the same ... only from a more youthful perspective.  I started out at the bottom of the ladder at this firm as a typist.  By the time I turned 23, I was promoted to the position of the firm's computer training manager.  I didn't have a degree in computer operations or a certificate in adult education.  What I did have, however, was a strong work ethic, a willingness to learn and the ability to see my own potential. 

I never applied for the above position.  My firm manager hand-picked me for it.  And one of the reasons cited at the time of the job offer?  My ability to fit the firm's image.  As the computer training manager, I would be working with office personnel and attorneys alike and they felt I had the ability to relate to each group effectively.  Interesting. 

I left that job after my second child was born and went back to work when she was a year old at a nationally known insurance company.  I interviewed for the position of an evening transcriptionist.  After my initial interview, I was called back in by the daytime supervisor and offered the position of the evening supervisor.  One of the reasons?  My style and the way I carried myself.  This position led to a daytime position and then, after two years, a division manager called me out of the cafeteria and offered me a higher position within his department.  I had never noticed this division manager who ate in the company cafeteria every afternoon at the same time that I and several other 100 employees did.  But he had noticed me.  He said he liked the way I carried myself and the way I was able to hold "court" as he called it (I've always been an excellent entertainer in the story-telling department) and he needed some assistance in the "style" and "social" aspect of business.  And he chose me. 

I held several positions within his department over the several years under his employ ... each one carrying a better title and a more impressive paycheck.  And while I did succumb to wearing pants every now and again ... I never strayed very far from my first mentor's example of business savvy style.  And I truly believe it assisted my climb up the corporate ladder. 

And then we moved ... and I met the "yummy mummies."  Who had a very casual chic sense of style.  And after years of spending hours upon hours in business suits, skirts, dresses and heels ... I developed a new sense of style for "every day."  None of which included pajama pants.  And just last year my daughter's volleyball team called me the "most stylish" mom.  I loved that. 

You don't have to be a millionaire to achieve your own sense of style.  Money cannot buy you class.  If you only have enough money to shop at Wal-Mart, shop at Wal-Mart.  There's nothing wrong with that.  Just don't be drawn to all things polyester and flannel.  Don't buy T-shirts with pithy sayings (i.e., "Boys Suck"), or band names on them ... those aren't really appropriate for anyone over the age of 19.  Stick to solids and throw in a dash of color.  Don't wear running shoes anywhere other than the gym.  Go to Target and buy a few pair of Converse ... or if you can only afford one pair ... make them black or grey.  They're chic and cheap.  Buy scarves, classic costume jewelry and have a good trench coat in a neutral color for fall/spring and a good overcoat for winter.  Ballerina flats are a girls best friend ... they can be found on the low or high end of the price scale and can dress up a pair of jeans and T-shirt as well as a cocktail dress. 

If you really want to feel pretty, don't always wear underwear that come in packages of 6.  Spring for the perfume that makes you feel like a "lady."  Don't pay department store prices ... hit up Marhsall's and TJ Maxx.  Buy one designer handbag ... in black or beige ... without too many garish looking logos.  If you take care if it ... it will last you a lifetime and never go out of style.  Paint your toenails ... try a shade of pink!  Do whatever it takes to feel pretty ... like you are a teenager again. 

You are a walking advertisement for yourself ... figure out who you are.  Emulate your idols.  Maybe you loved the style of Marilyn Monroe, Audrey or Katherine Hepburn, SJP, Kate Hudson, etc.  Find your personal style and go for broke.  Whatever you do ... leave the pajamas in the bedroom and the track suits in the gym.  I don't care if your track suits are made by Juicy Couture ... just don't. 

Above all ... dress your age.  If you are like me and are in your 40's, please don't wear a mini skirt with Uggs.  Please.  Leave the minis for the young ones.  And remember that skinny jeans are meant for skinny girls.  If you are sporting a size "W" please don't buy a skinny jean ... the tapered leg is just going to draw attention to your hips.  If you must wear a skinny jean, please do so with a boot ... over top of the jean.  And buy the appropriate size.  Too small will make you look like a tube of Pillsbury biscuits, bursting at the top and just begging for your pants to split.  Too big will make you look like you are wearing a circus tent. 

If you are single and want to attract a good man ... don't dress like the town tramp.  If you are married and want to keep your husband interested ... then take my advice above and buy some sexy undergarments .. and don't wear sweatpants and flannel pajamas to bed every night.  And if you want to become the next big thing in your corporation than forgo "casual Friday" and dress as if every day is the day you will get your promotion.  And please, dear God, please, NEVER wear white socks with black shoes. 

Take risks, have fun and dress to impress.  Embrace your advanced years and take comfort in the knowledge that you are mature enough to have found your own personal style.  Coco Chanel once said ... "A woman should be two things.  Classy and fabulous."  I agree. 

And when in doubt ... "Wear pink."   The Divine Mrs. M

© 2010-2011 Melanie L. Miller All Rights Reserved