While I cannot remember what I had for lunch yesterday, I do remember every lyric to Madonna's "Lucky Star." A song that was released on my birthday, November 12th, 1983!! For reasons that I cannot explain ... I remember the first time I heard it play. I was at a local fair with one of my loyal readers, sharrison ;) We were riding one of the carnival rides ... that, of course, I can't remember the name of. It was one of those rides that went around and around in circles and was set with a snow or mountain kind of theme ... Anyone? Anyone? The Matterhorn maybe? Like bobsleds? Oh well ... it doesn't matter. I'm just proving my point that memory is a funny thing. Anyhow, sharrison and I were on this ride and "Lucky Star" blasted over the sound system. I had no idea who was singing ... Madonna was not yet a household name. I asked sharrison ... she told me. In that instant ... my life changed.
If you were a teen aged girl growing up in the 80's, you understand my undying love for "Her Madgesty." Madonna was my first taste of a truly independent woman. A woman who marched to her own drum, made no excuses for her behavior and created a multi-million dollar empire. I wanted to be Madonna ... I wanted to dress like Madonna ... I wanted to dance like Madonna ... I wanted to sing like Madonna. My biggest obstacle? My parents. They were strict. And that's putting it politely. Her "Like a Virgin" single pushed my parents over the edge and anything Madonna-like (clothes, music, etc) was forbidden in my household. The first Madonna cassette tape I bootlegged into my home was one I purchased with my own money at age 16 ... True Blue. I'd listen and dance to it in the confines of my room ... with headphones ... on my Sony Walkman. I was like Lane from the Gilmore Girls ... hiding my contraband deep in my closet when I exited the house.
I graduated, got married, had children. And along came Britney. "Hit me Baby One More Time" took hold and another blonde sensation was born. The infamous Madonna/Britney kiss at the 2003 MTV Video Music Awards solidified Ms. Brit as a superstar. Her music took over the airwaves and much dancing ensued in the Divine Mrs. M's household ... out in the open for everyone to see ... because I owned the house and my parents no longer had a say.
And then ... Gaga. With no disrespect to those who came before her ... there is no other artist who inspires me to dance more than my beloved Gaga. "Just Dance," "Poker Face" and "Bad Romance" can make me break out my moves no matter where I may be ... in my kitchen, at my desk, in the car, in the grocery store. I am not an elegant dancer ... think Elaine from Seinfeld. But I don't care ... I dance nonetheless. Give me some music from the blonde trifecta and my body just has to respond.
What does this have to do with being Forty, Fabulous and Fat? I will tell you.
To be effective, every healthy lifestyle change has to include some form of exercise. There are a lot of opinions as to how much exercise is required ... but the general consensus is approximately 30 minutes of brisk exercise per day. Most studies suggest walking. I hate walking. As a matter of fact, I hate exercise. One of the reasons that most of my attempts to get healthy fail is that I participate in activities that I hate.
I am a member of our local YMCA. Once upon a time, I lost a significant amount of weight by eating properly and working out with a personal trainer at the Y. I loved my trainer. We became the best of friends. He pushed me in directions I didn't even know my body could go and widdled my middle down to the smallest it had been in years ... defined my arms and legs and there was less jiggle when I walked. And then the unthinkable happened ... he got a better job offer and left. I stopped training, stopped eating healthy and put on more weight than I had on me before I started working with him. I missed him. He was like my gay BFF ... but he wasn't gay. He just knew how to be a great girlfriend. We laughed, talked, had lunch ... we were friends. And he was gone. And I gave up. We still talk on the phone ... we still e-mail each other and he still attempts to train me over the Internet. But its not the same.
I keep paying the monthly bill to the Y for a membership. They have a personal trainer on staff. I know how to use all of the equipment and my brain is not so far gone that I don't remember the training I received. I just don't like it. I don't like walking/running on the treadmill to nowhere. The elliptical machine is not my friend and biking on a stationary bike bores me to tears. Without someone to push me, I will lift the least amount on the strength training machines and pick the smallest number from the free-weight pile. Without the incentive of my trainer BFF being there to greet me, I have no desire to drive or walk into the facility.
I've tried the water aerobics with the senior citizen crowd. Boring. I've tried walking the neighborhood with my IPod in ... boring. I've done step aerobics ... archaic. I've attempted punching a speed bag and even kickboxing. I've never been that into aggression. I've done TaeBo and The Firm. I've done Walk Away the Pounds wherein you walk in place in front of the TV in the comfort of your own home. Once in awhile I even breakout the Cindy Crawford Shape Your Body VCR tape ... originally released in 1992. Nothing sticks. Nothing lasts for more than a week or two ... and I'm stretching the truth there a little.
So now that I'm attempting to change my life and become just Forty and Fabulous minus the Fat ... I need a game plan. What kind of exercise can I introduce to my under worked, over couched body that it won't immediately reject? I've been pondering this question for the past month and I think I have an answer.
DANCE
That's right ... dance. I don't like to do anything else. I really don't. But I love, love, love to dance. I'm not talking ballroom dance via "Dancing with the Stars" ... I'm talking just losing oneself to the music and dancing ... around the living room ... around the kitchen ... in your pajamas ... like a fool. I figure cardio is cardio but to aid me in my quest for getting my groove on and achieving 30 minutes of cardio per day ... I have enlisted the help of my Wii. The Wii offers two fun dance games ... Just Dance and Just Dance 2. I have also purchased Wii Zumba ... because it's fun and flirty and fun to dance to.
I'm on my way readers. Will I look like Cindy Crawford, Elle McPherson or Heidi Klum by dancing my ass off (literally)? Nope. But I will be moving ... which is more than I can say for what I was doing before. I will keep you updated on the progress. If you're lucky, I will post some YouTube video of my dancing skillzzz ... so you can laugh and be inspired by a self-appointed dancing queen.
Choose wisely when you pick your exercise program ... quit lying to yourself that you are going to get up at 5:00 a.m. and hit the gym three days a week if you like to sleep in until the last possible second and have a habit of hitting the snooze button 18 times before rising. Choose something fun ... choose something that is enjoyable and doesn't seem like a chore.
Or take a cue from myself and my beloved Gaga and ... Just Dance!
© 2010-2011 Melanie L. Miller All Rights Reserved
© 2010-2011 Melanie L. Miller All Rights Reserved
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