Close your eyes and take a trip ... wander through your closet, peek inside your dresser drawers, climb the stairs and go through your attic, go through the totes in your basement. What do you see? Bet you a pint of Ben & Jerry's ice cream (I know. I'm on a diet. But that sounds a lot better than betting you celery and carrot sticks.) that you see a myriad of the following: (a) items you always wear; (b) items you never wear; (c) items you bought and you thought you would wear and didn't; (d) items that are too big to wear; (e) items that are too small to wear; (f) bridesmaids dresses you wish you hadn't ever had to wear; (g) items you didn't know you had; (h) items you wish you didn't have; and (i) maternity clothes ... and you haven't been pregnant in over 15 years.
Maybe you have some of these items. Maybe you have all of them. The question is ... WHY? What is it with a woman's attachment to clothes? (I apologize to my readers for assuming you are all women ... if someone of the male gender reads and enjoys this blog, please message me ASAP. You are my new gay BFF.) Why do we keep the size 6 when we are currently a size 18W? Why do we keep the maternity blouse when we are one foot in the orthopedic shoe away from menopause? Why do we keep the teal-green lace bridesmaid dress from 1987? WHY?
My BFF is an organizing mastermind. She has a whole mini Macy's lining the closet of her master bedroom. She has sizes ranging from size 8 and up (maybe even smaller). They are all arranged by size and color-coded. She has a label maker and uses it to her full advantage so she can spot things easily. She has fancy drawers inside labeled with things like "lipstick," "lip gloss," "blush," "eye shadow," etc. You may think I'm kidding ... I'm not. It's a masterpiece. She has the clothing, cosmetics counter and shoe department neatly displayed right outside the master bath's door. It's incredible. I'm jealous. And perplexed.
I understand the color coding as I do that myself. It just makes my life easier when I'm trying to put together an outfit. The make-up thing is way beyond my comprehension. My make-up routine consists of some moisturizer with SPF, some powder to hide the weird red blotchy spots on my face and a touch of blush. That's it. Should I do more? Sure. Do I care? No. But I'm getting off point ... I've asked my beautiful BFF why she keeps all of the clothes that she hasn't worn in, I don't know, 7 years or so. She says ... "Because I'm going to wear them when I get back down to that size." STOP ... DO NOT PASS GO ... DO NOT COLLECT $200.
You, I and my BFF all know that this is a LIE. A complete and total fabrication of the truth. For as every woman knows, if you are successful ... if you actually lose the weight ... you are not turning to the inside of your closet to choose an outfit from 1998 to go out and flaunt your new figure in. No ma'am, you are not. You are heading to the mall, walking past the stores that sell size "W" and heading into the stores that sell size "SB" (please refer to previous blogs for a complete explanation), and buying a brand new outfit to strut your stuff down the "SB" runway.
She and I can debate this subject for hours on end. We have. As a matter of fact, for the entire 12 years of our friendship ... all things weight-related have been properly dissected and discussed. However, I have yet to convince her to purge herself of these unnecessary items that are literally "weighing" her down, hanging there as a constant reminder of who she once was and whom she may never be again no matter how many protein shakes she drinks and miles she runs ... because she does. She's the healthiest, most energetic, most dedicated woman over the age of 40 I know. If she could see what I see ... she'd stop worrying about fitting into size "SB" and just be the fabulous person she is.
One Saturday this summer I was shopping in Hell (aka the swimsuit department) when I ran into one of my "school moms" (aka mothers of my children's friends at school). She told me an interesting story. She said she was sick of all of the clothes in her closet. She hadn't gone up a size or down a size ... she was just completely sick and tired of everything she had to wear. So, she washed every item of clothing she had, packed it into boxes, donated them to goodwill and she and her husband headed out to buy her a complete new wardrobe! He sat in the car by the way ... but still, he took her.
I was amazed. What a concept. Get rid of everything you're sick of and get a complete new wardrobe. I went home completely inspired. I recalled getting ready for work every morning and pulling on a pair of pants and having them not fit and pulling out a another pair of pants and having them not fit ... trying on shirts that had grown too tight in the waist area ... sitting on the bed and crying in frustration because I was so fat I couldn't fit into my clothes and thought I looked old and frumpy. Not to mention I was late for work 3 out of 5 days a week wasting all this time trying to squeeze a watermelon through a donut hole. Ridiculous. A complete waste of time. Depressing.
So I followed this woman's lead ... I went through every closet, every drawer, every tote and took out every item of clothing that was not labeled with the current "W" size I was sporting at the moment, boxed it up and donated it to goodwill (and to my mother and all of her friend's at the senior apartments ... they love to say they are wearing the "Divine Mrs M" collection). I proceeded to the mall and entered the "big girl store" with credit cards ablaze ... and bought myself a brand new wardrobe in size "W." I accepted who I am and no longer cry before work in the morning because everything fits, everything matches and everything makes me feel good about who I am.
Clothes hanging in your closet or taking space in your attic and/or basement are a constant reminder of who you used to be ... not who you are now. Maybe you're one of the lucky ones who have successfully shed those unwanted pounds and still keep the bigger size hanging in your closet to "remind" you of who you were and who you don't want to be again ... or maybe you keep them "just in case" the weight returns. I'm begging you ... get rid of them!!!! Get rid of every piece of clothing that makes you long for a girl that no longer exists. You may mourn each piece as you pack it away ... but once you have done it, you will not only have more room in your closet, but more room in your mind as well. You will have more time to focus on and enjoy the fabulous person you are right now and not dwell on the person you once were.
And think of all the money you'll save on your taxes ...
© 2010-2011 Melanie L. Miller All Rights Reserved
Holy cow!!! You are right on target. I have fought that mind game so many flippin' times. I've somewhat done that, but not fully to that magnitude. I did a semi-quasi clear out, but really need to do more. I've picked up some new things and I do feel better about myself. I am what I am right now. While I'm working on making changes, I still need to try and feel good about myself. This was right on target. Keep talking. You're inspiring me!!!
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